7 Tips to Survive a Renovation with Your Partner

"How to survive a reno with your partner and still like each other at the end" is written over a light background. A silhouette of a couple is to the right. A hammer is hammering the word how.

A renovation is one of the most stressful things you can go through as a couple. It’s a lot of money for most people. The decisions can feel insurmountable and paralyzing. It can also stir up challenges in your relationship. Even harmonious unions can feel strained under the pressure.

This blog is an adaptation of a podcast episode. If you’d prefer to listen and watch Krista chat about this topic, head to YouTube and Spotify.

1) Consult with One Another Early AND Before You Come to a Designer

  • Each person should list their top priorities for the project.
  • List your “must-haves,” “nice-to-haves,” and “dreams.”
  • Compare these lists with one another, and you’ll find that you’re closer than you think in areas that matter.
  • You don’t have to be on the same page, but you should be reading the same book.

2) Employ Mood Boards and Visual Aids

  • Pulling some visuals from sources like Pinterest or social media can help explain your point of view.
  • Visuals make abstract ideas concrete, making it easier to agree on selections.
  • Don’t just pull images you like. Pull spaces you don’t enjoy too. Sometimes it’s easier to find what you love by learning what you don’t.

3) Decide Who’s the Boss (in Specific Areas)

  • As you get further along in your renovation discussions, consider giving the final say to one another depending on who uses the space more.
  • Making sure everyone feels like they have an equal say will reduce quarrels.
  • Does he cook more? Perhaps he gets the final say on some of the functionality in the kitchen.
  • Does she host book clubs? Perhaps she has the final say on the living room furniture.

4) Hire a 3rd Party – A Designer

  • When you’ve hired a designer for your renovation, you can drop those shoulders and breathe deeply.
  • No, we’re not therapists. We can’t resolve relational problems, but we do know a thing or two about finding neutral, practical solutions to design challenges.
  • Your designer’s goal is to bring your worlds together and create a stunning design.

5) Be Prepared for Your Initial Consultation with Your Designer

  • By doing the work before your first consultation (Steps 1 to 3), you’ll be more aligned in your goals, preferences, and styles.
  • You’re still a long way from your end design, but you’ll be excited about the options instead of trepidatious.
  • Even if it’s clear that the vision is from two different points of view, the designer can identify common ground and find areas of compromise in your renovation.

6) Stay connected through the process

  • Check in with each other often.
  • If you hire a designer, don’t leave it until your next design meeting to discuss your options. Do your homework together.
  • Renovations are a big deal with many changes. Change is hard even when the change is welcomed and good.
  • Be sure to keep in touch with one another and how you feel through this process.
  • What once was a “must-have” may have lowered to a “nice-to-have.” That hill you were prepared to defend may have crumbled.
  • Keep talking and stay united.

7) Choose to have fun!

  • Renovations are an exciting time of possibilities. What an exciting journey you get to embark on together!
  • It’s an opportunity to get to know your partner more deeply. Often, renovations come with the beginnings of a new relationship, but also new seasons. Perhaps the kids have left the house and it’s time for your next chapter. How invigorating it is to reconnect with each other and how you’ve grown.
  • As long as both of you want this to be a success, this process will be a fun adventure!

FINAL THOUGHTS ON SURVIVING A RENOVATION WITH YOUR PARTNER

We hope these quick tips help you have a beautiful renovation experience with your partner. Whether you hire a professional or not, continue to connect and operate as a united team. You’ll be fine. If you’re ready to take that leap and hire a design and construction professional, let’s talk!

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